Panic

This week was hell. One thing that puts it into perspective for me is that five students died in a fire in off-campus housing over the weekend. It was even the one kid’s birthday. And to make it worse (as if) — it was arson. I can’t even fathom how their families are doing. If that happened to one of my kids…Dear God in heaven, be with them, stick to them like glue.

But besides that I’ve been in a panic state from getting two D’s in a row in my History class and I have no idea what I’m doing wrong. He’s letting us re-write these but if I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, what’s the point? I had an appointment with Dr. Schneir and between him and Guenther I think I got some perspective back about being in school. I’m supposed to be doing this because I love to learn, but I got all caught up in proving that I can DO this! I’ve been a quitter all my life—well, maybe not a quitter exactly, but it sure has been hard to get a fire lit under myself. So I really want to see this through. And I want to enjoy it. But what is my long-term goal? And do I even WANT to have one?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *